Thursday, January 3, 2013

01-03-95 Happy 18th Birthday BaBy

How is it possible that it’s already 18th years? 

How is it possible that 18th years ago today My BaBy was born during a rainy day & just in time so that me & my other brothers will meet her prior to flying back to Mexico since it was almost time to go back to school. 

My BaBy, how is it possible that the Baby I carried around, the Baby I dress up when I never like playing with dolls but I just fall in love with you & you became my Baby, you became my real doll, the Baby that I changed many diapers, the Baby that I showered countless time, the Baby I took to school so many times & many times more than one believe me to be your Mom because after all you were my BaBy, the Baby my Sister of which I have so many memories is already 18th.

You are the Baby whom I have seen become a beautiful girl & seen your personality develop to the strong woman you are today.  Baby Happy Birthday I am sure I’ll updated the pictures & celebrations on your special day.

Today I just want to say that I hope God keeps on guiding & protecting you in the years ahead so that you fulfill all your dreams.  Okay, about time that we start the process & get that Drivers License   

Me & Sebastian Love You to the Moon & Back & no matter how old you get you’ll still always be My BaBy.

Pictures to follow computers not helping today

New Beggining!

Yes it’s a new start to a journal, to a keepsake of a journey to achieve goals, to dream bigger, to record the memories of my little family. 

Amazing that over a year ago I started this new idea of a blog as a diary as my journal; however, as sometimes it happens with a good intention life gets in the way & we are distracted.  Today I am starting with many doubts in my mind, it’s hard to start again; starting anything again is not an easy task it’s hard.  Overcoming that doubt about yourself, about a past experience is not easy because starting again is much harder than the first time. 

Let’s be honest I could be pretty indecisive at times for instance I have doubts on whether I want a blog in Spanish which is my primary language as I was born & raised in Mexico until 16 years old & there are certain traditions or due to the language are easier to explain in Spanish.  Nonetheless, I have live in the US almost the same amount of years & there are certain things that are easier said in English for me as after all I am surrounded half of the time talking, listening & reading in English. There’s family that only speak Spanish and I will wish they may understand what I say, yet my kids (well one for now, but hopefully more) that will most likely prefer to read this memories in English & I will like to turn this letters into books for them.

I have doubts about being able to really maintain the blog & memories this time.  I have doubts about what to write? Should I trust, should I share what I really feel & want.  You see sharing my life has gotten me in trouble in the past which I didn’t minded, I do not tend to care about being judge or having a different view, I have learned in the past that no matter what I cannot control what other do & not because of that I will lock myself & stop leaving my life, I do not mind if I am let down by those I trusted but, but I do mind when it affects my family.

This year and the next and the next is something I want to document, I want to be able to look back at our life today.  I know life goes by fast too fast for my like.  I once change my sisters diapers & my gosh today my baby turns 18th, not to long ago I was preggo & today my baby is a 17 months already.  We cannot control our tomorrow but we can control what we do today & today I want to write so tomorrow I can refresh my forgetful mind of the little things that if it wasn’t because of a picture or a note I’ll forget.  Yes, I am totally like the lady on the NoteBook & many times I’ll forget even what I was wearing yesterday.

It’s so hard to accept & I do not want to say it out loud.  I am starting this year with the most fears, most doubt in myself than ever there’s so much doubt do I settle with a day to day life but in the back of my mind I know there’s more & it’s impossible to settle. 

There’s so much doubt & amazing expectations for 2013 it’s hard to explain.  This year I do not have a New Years List of Resolutions this time I just want to do, I am not setting myself for deception on overstated wishes this year is more like a new beginning a continuation to achieve & complete past goals just like this blog. This year I’ll just start Dreaming Bigger again & trust again as only God knows what successes are in your future, but be 100% certain that whatever they may be, the only way to achieve them will be to continue Risking, Taking Chances & Showing Outrageous Courage.  This year I’ll once again what I have done in the past I’ll Overcome my Self-Imposed Limitations to find my true Potential

This year will be a turn point in many areas that I want to record the journey & memories.